My name is Eunice, also known as Black Christian, I am an abuse survivor, and I battle with PTSD and Moderate Severe Anxiety and Depression but I am also fun, simple and very goofy.
Over the past couple of years as I transitioned from teenagehood to Adulthood, I battled with insecurities about my body, especially my belly. I was slim when I was in my early teenage years but towards the end, I started gaining weight, although general body weight didn’t get to me. Losing my flat tummy really got to me more than I was ever comfortable admitting.
I used to be able to wear bodycons and crop tops without any care in the world but eventually, I found myself finding solace in wearing baggy tees and hoodies or A-shaped dresses.
It was weird finding myself in such a position because I am usually the happy-go-lucky kid with absolutely no worries.
I do not know if it were the comments I started getting from family, classmates and even strangers or if it was the reflection in the mirror that made me so insecure about it.
Gradually it became worse and worse, I started declining invites to hang out, I started dashing out of classes just to get to my hostel really early and away from people and attention, I also started giving a lot of my perfectly good clothes and outfits out.
I started having issues taking my bath in the public hostel bathroom during the day, I would rather go around 1 am when I knew most people were asleep. I also could not sleep with half clothes, it had to be full outfits or a long dress.
Funnily enough, I did not notice how weird I was getting, I did not realise when I slipped and became so self-conscious. It was interesting to see that I, who didn’t care about what people thought generally, became so worried about what people thought about my own body.
The only person I would hang out with was my boyfriend who was the only person who did not care about it and did not remind me about it.
He made me feel safe and even when I started a really crazy exercise to work on it, he asked me if I was sure about it and he supported me.
Then I started to feel terrible pains from the workouts and he asked if I was really doing it from my heart or because I was scared of what people thought about me.
It was then it hit me that I was being ridiculous because firstly gaining the extra weight was completely normal, I was getting older and it was bound to happen.
Secondly, gaining weight was not because I was a food junkie or something. If anything I eat healthier than the regular person, I do not take soda and I naturally hate junk food and I do not even eat late.
Thirdly, why did I become so self-conscious and worried about what people thought, why I was giving someone else the power to judge my own life?
So here’s what I did, I quit the workout session and I started correcting people when they made a funny or rude comments about my body. If they continued, I would pick something about themselves too and joke about it so they get a feel of the nonsense they were doing.
I started going on solo dates just to enjoy life in general, I started wearing my bodycons again and I kept eating healthy.
Everything is in the mind, you are what you think.
If you allow negative thoughts to slip into your mind consistently, it is going to unconsciously start playing out in your reality.
Honestly, you do not owe people anything about your own body, it is all your choice, you should not be worried because you either have acne or thick black hair because I tell you that’s your unique feature, everyone has their unique features, if we all start conforming to the standards of this social media stuck up world, we are going to lose those unique features and then we would be no different from each other.
Be yourself, embrace yourself and if truly you think that whatever insecurities you have, you do not like and you want it changed, then be the one to decide to change it yourself and not because of people or anything external.
Also because humans are naturally wired to seek validation or affirmation, I would advise that you have friends or family who love everything about you, people who do not judge any part of you or make fun of you.
For me, it was my partner, for you, it may be your best friend, your team lead at work or even your house help.
We all need good people around to be better versions of ourselves.
Of course, I don’t have a flat tummy yet because who made flat tummies the standard? I love my tummy tuck belly, it folds when I sit, and it’s not bulging or whatever.
Now I find it cute and I rock it however I want. I am beautiful with it and I know it.
Let me let you in on a little secret when you begin to think of yourself as beautiful and fabulous, it expresses itself in everything you do and slowly you would notice that everyone around you treats you as such.
So, all in all, I have given you a few tips on how to overcome body insecurities the way I did, it may not work for you the exact way, but I ask that you start and ultimately you would find your way.
I am not perfect yet, I still have PTSD and MSAD, I am getting help on each problem at a time and I am getting better each day.
Love yourself, if you don’t, who will?
All my love, Eunice ?
Eunice Babatunde was born on the 21st of April to the Babatunde family of Lagos, she is the 4th child and last daughter of her father’s first marriage.
She is a fictional and nonfictional writer who specialises in ‘Simple Narrative Writing’. She is also a Serial Entrepreneur who has established small-scale businesses over the last 5 years. She currently owns OfadaEtc and Blackkie’s Clothier, an online restaurant and an online personal shopping company.
She has been writing professionally for over 2 years and has successfully published a couple of pieces and articles on various media outlets and her personal blog.
She is also a Mass Communication major at the University of Lagos and is a 2022 United Nations Academic Impact Millennium Fellow and also a McKinsey Alumnus 2022.
She has also worked for top companies like Microsoft, Nigeria and Lagos Business School.
She considers herself very smart, versatile and a great problem solver. She volunteers with various Non- Governmental Organisations in her free time and she loves to cook and read a lot of crime and documentary books.